Wednesday, October 11, 2006

People are too nice

Okay, I try not to complain about people being too nice very often, but bear with me as I explain my position.

Brendan is a little guy - quite short for his age, he's at about the 5th percentile or lower. But inside that little body is a four and a half year old who is just as independance loving as the next preschooler. He wants to do things for himself, by himself. And for other people too. This causes some problems at home, but most are solved (not always with my blessing) by a chair to climb on.

A bigger problem is when we're out and about. He has a thing about opening doors. He always wants to open them for me, especially the big heavy exterior ones at school. The handles are above his head and he struggles to get them open. He usually can do it, given enough time, and if not he pretty much knows when he's met his match and asks me to open it. But nice people see him struggling and they just go ahead and open the door for him. This produces a variety of reactions - from crying out of frustration for not being given a chance, to shyly going through the door to outright refusal to budge until he can open the door himself. In almost all cases I have to say "thanks, but he likes to do it himself". I would estimate during the course of a normal day, I say that phrase at least once.

Nice people also see us approaching a door, Brendan walking and me holding a baby, and stand in the doorway waiting and holding the door open for us. If there is more than one door, he will bypass the nice person to open a different one. Makes for kind of an awkward moment where I try not to appear rude by rejecting a door being held for me.

Yesterday we were at the grocery store and got up to the deli counter. You have to pull a number from one of those red dispensers and wait your turn to be served. He can't reach it, but somehow last week managed to get the number. I didn't exactly see how he did it, maybe the numbers were hanging out farther than usual or he jumped just right. So yesterday I asked him if he could get the number. He was trying to jump and catch it. He had tried a couple times when an older man came up behind him, pulled the number and handed it to him. It startled him, so he took the number and scooted back to me. Now I know that man was just trying to help, but Brendan almost had it! It would have made his day if he had managed to get it himself.

Keep trying, little guy! You'll either grow or figure out some other way to do it. (Your vertically challenged mother knows these things.)

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