Birth Certificates Are Proof of Age, Not Identity

Oh really? I didn't know that. But there it is in black and white on the sheet of paper I got today at the Social Security Office from the nice uniformed man. So it must be true if the government has proclaimed it.

I was there to get a social security card and number for Lucas. He's 7 weeks old. Hasn't had a lot of time to acquire forms of identification. He's pretty much who I say he is. But obviously, he does have a birth certificate. In fact, we had just been down the street collecting that piece of paper. While he screamed his head off. But that's beside the point.

So I find myself at the Social Security office. It seems we are required to have a SSN for him before he can be covered by Jeff's health insurance. I knew we were going to have to do this at some point, but I kept putting it off (see above about screaming). However we got a letter in the mail the other day from the insurance company telling us we had 60 days to accomplish it, so I had to get moving and today was the day.

Back to that piece of paper and the uniformed man. I was a little frazzled (again with the screaming), so I wasn't expecting my conversation with him about what would be considered "valid ID" for a newborn. Here's the list:

• Doctor record or receipt showing TWO pieces of identifying information (ie. name, date of birth and parent's name). Cannot be handwritten.
• Hospital record with baby's FULL NAME. Must be dated after the date of birth with TWO pieces of identifying information (ie. name, date of birth and parent's name)
• Health insurance card with child's name AND child's date of birth
• Religious record (Baptismal record)
• Certified Immunization Record (Must have Doctor's STAMP, Hosptial STAMP or Health Department STAMP - Cannot be all handwritten)
• Current Daycare or School record on School Letterhead with TWO pieces of identifying information (ie. name, date of birth and parent's name)

So I was frantically pulling things out of the diaper bag to see if they were good enough. Hospital record that they sent me in the mail? Nope, all handwritten. What's this? I just happen to have his immunization card stuck in a pocket of the diaper bag? And it has a total of one entry for the one shot he's had so far, done at the hospital the day after he was born AND they actually used a stamp on it? Must be my lucky day!

That means I was able to apply for his SSN which will make the insurance people satisified (and make my husband happy to get it done). But man, I'd be screwed if I was a non-religious stay-at-home-mom who had a homebirth and didn't believe in vaccinations.

I wonder if anyone has told the border patrol people that birth certificates are not a form of ID? Because they seemed to work just fine when we took the kids to Canada last summer. Maybe we'll just have to start sneaking across the border in the middle of the night like everyone else. Or we could get them passports. I wonder how many pieces of ID you need for one of those now? I bet one is a birth certificate.